Joke #1 (based on a Woody Allen joke)
Woman walks into a coffee shop, and says to the barista, “You wouldn’t believe what’s happening at my home. It’s my brother-in-law. He thinks he’s a chicken; all the long he walks around the house screeching, ‘bawk, bawk, bawk’ like a chicken and flapping his arms as if they were wings.”
“That’s terrible,” said the barista with a concerned look on her face. “Why don’t you take his to see a psychologist?”
“I would,” the woman explained, “but I need the eggs.”
Why I like the joke: In an absurd way, the joke highlights the power of the mind.
Joke #2 (I learned this joke at a workshop by David and Roger Johnson of the Cooperative Learning Institute of the University of Minnesota.)
A psychologist at a mental hospital had been working with three patients for about a year, and they had made a lot a progress. So, she was planning to release them from the hospital and allow them to return home to their families.
However, she wanted to make one more check to be sure the patients were really ready to be released. So, she called the three of them into her office, and she asked them, “Please tell me – what is 3 times 3?” The first patient said, “Sure, I know. 3 times 3 is Thursday.”
The psychologist couldn’t believe it. She’d worked so hard with this patient, and now this! What had gone wrong? But, undaunted, she turned to the second patient and said, “You know what 3 times 3 is, don’t you?” “Of course,” the patient replied, “3 times 3 is mangoes.” Well, the psychologist threw up her hands in frustration. She was ready to tear up her diplomas, quit her comfortable, well-paid job, and set up a stall selling mangoes and mango juice.
In desperation, she faced the third patient. With a pleading voice, she asked, “Please, please, you know, I’m sure you do, what 3 times 3 is.” The reply came without a moment’s hesitation: “3 times 3 is 9.” The psychologist let out a huge sigh of relief. At least she wasn’t a total failure; one patient could be released.
Then, the psychologist had an idea. She’d get the third patient to explain to the other two how 3 times 3 equals 9, they’d understand, they could all be released, she’d be a success. However, when she asked the third patient to explain his answer, he said, “3 times 3 = 9 because Thursday times mangoes = 9.”
Why I like the joke: It emphasizes the importance of understanding the reasons behind what we say.
Joke #3 (I don’t remember where I first saw this joke.)
Once a rather stern teacher asked a student to make a sentence beginning with the word I.
The student started with, “I is …”, but before she could finish the sentence, the teacher, with a disappointed look on his face, interrupted the teacher: “No, no, no. It’s ‘I am.’”
The quivering but determined student attempted to start again with, “I is …”, but again, the teacher, his face reddening, snapped, “How many times do I have to tell you? I is first person singular. Thus, the correct form of the verb to be is am. Are we clear?”
With a defeated look on her face, the dutiful student mechanically stated, “I am the ninth letter of the English alphabet.”
Why I like the joke: It reminds me that I should, as the saying goes, “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.”